Just What I Needed To Hear

I have been struggling the last couple weeks with the fact that my life as a mother isn’t exactly what I imagined it would be. And, in my mind, that translated to me failing as a mother.

I imagined I would be the wife and mom with a clean house, but I would still let my kids have fun and be messy. I would be a great cook and make all kinds of goodies and home-made breakfasts for my husband and kids. My house would be homey, cute, clean, and full of organization and love. Why I thought that being a mother and wife would implement all these habits into my life that I didn’t have before, I don’t know. But I thought it would.

Well, it hasn’t.

My house is a mess. We actually just moved back home to a farm in Montana into my husband’s great-grandmother’s old house. It’s big {I mean VERY big compared to our old apartment in Seattle}, but out-dated and needs a lot of work. Not to mention the fact that we moved into a house full of stuff already. Moving into a house and at the same time moving someone out of the house is not recommended. And there was {and still is} a lot of stuff. Great-grandma lived to be almost 102–that’s a lot of life to acquire things! Needless to say, the house is a mess.

I cook, but not three meals a day, and not all that great. And it seems like there is more times than not that my meal plan for the night ends up getting replaced with frozen pizza or cereal.

And I have lots and lots of goals for organization…but as of right now, that’s all they are. Goals. And they are probably a long way off from becoming a reality.

BUT–none of that matters. And all those little things that bother me right now, I was letting them affect my attitude toward my husband and daughter. But yesterday I read a blog post called “When Satan Steals Your Motherhood” and it really hit home.

God doesn’t expect my house to be spotless {yet inviting}. He doesn’t care if I get home-made muffins made for the morning. Or that my plans for a “Home Binder” have all but been forgotten.

He has blessed me with the job of being a wife and a mom and that means loving my husband and daughter unconditionally. It means practicing patience. It means respecting my husband. It means raising my daughter up to be the bold woman of God that He wants her to be.

All of that other stuff is my own expectations. And it’s when I start focusing more on what I think are failures and stop enjoying being a mother that Satan wins. I am called right now to be a mom and I am not going to give Satan my calling.

When I read that blog post last night, tears came to my eyes. And the fact that so many other moms were connecting with it made me realize that I am not the only one. I admire those moms who have it all together, but as of right now, that is not me. And maybe it never will be. I don’t need to be the picture-perfect mom to be a good mom. I just need to follow where God leads me and allow him to be the focus in my life and home. He gave me motherhood and I am going to honor Him with it.

And let’s be honest–my daughter is 7 months old {today!}. She could care less about the way my house looks and my cooking tastes 🙂

Father’s Day

Today is a very special Father’s Day in our house because it is my husband’s first one! {not counting the one he had while I was pregnant–it’s just not the same as being able to snuggle and kiss the one who made you a dad}.

My husband is the absolute best! {I know everyone says that, but mine really is} He leads us the best he can–with God’s help and has made it his priority to be the spiritual leader in our family. We are pretty new to this parenting thing and are slowly learning my trial and error,  but there is no one else in this world that I would rather experience parenthood with. He is already a great dad 7 months in–I can’t wait to see how God will continue to mold him into the father he is meant to be. And of course I can’t forget my own dad on Father’s Day. He has been a steady influence in my life for the last {almost} 25 years and I couldn’t be more grateful. He has always provided for our family and, even when we didn’t have a whole lot of money, my brother and I hardly noticed. He lead our family in Christ and it’s because of the way he and my mom raised me that I knew what kind of husband I should look for. And he’s getting the grandpa thing down 🙂These guys are two of the most important people in my life and I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. I love you both. Happy Father’s Day ❤

Let’s give this a shot…

I’m not perfect. This is not a surprise to me. In fact, I’ve always been pretty average, and honestly, I’ve been pretty ok with that. Yet I am starting to realize that, for some reason I imagined myself to be the perfect wife and mother. And while in the 2 years and eight months of being a wife, and almost seven months of being a mother, and never coming close to being the perfect example of being either one of those things, the last few days have been a struggle realizing how far from my ideal image I am. I’ve always enjoyed writing so I decided to try blogging. Maybe I will never get a follower. Although that would be disappointing, I’m ok with that. Right now, I just need some me-time and a way to sort my jumbled mind out. And if I can help another mom out there who is feeling inadequate as well, then this will be worth it. Or even if I can help myself with feeling that way. This is my mom blog. It may be rough. It may never go anywhere past today, although I hope I keep up with it. It may be like a thousand other blogs out there. But it’s mine and this is how I am choosing to spend MY time right now.

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